It’s time again to stand and be counted.
This is where we count up how much money the Government spends on posters, catchy jingles, prime-time commercials, web sites, postage….wait….no.
Fuck. What was it? I know we’re counting something. SHIT.
Oh – that’s right. People. We’re counting the people, now I remember.
I took the time to fill out my 2010 Census form this past weekend, and if you haven’t done so – I ask that you do it soon. It’s important, it only takes a few minutes, and sweet baby Jesus – we’ve spent enough money on it – please don’t let that be wasted.
That said, I noticed a few things that caught my eye, and I thought I’d share. I’ve tried as best I can to offend everyone equally. My apologies in advance to anyone I’ve left out…
That’s right Earl – y’all’s time has come! Send Tammy-Lynne and Bobby-Joe over to cousin Cletus’ trailer and let him know he’s good to go. Those relatives living in Tornado Alley who used to live in a mobile home, but now live in a van down by the river may still consider this question optional.
It’s also nice to know that freeloaders, squatters, and transient vagrants living in abandoned buildings are quite welcome to participate in the Census this year.
Because 14.5 BILLION dollars isn’t enough to spend this time around…let’s make some phone calls.
Look – the Federal Government is just tired of it. We’re going to go back to the way it was at the turn of the 20th Century. When you get off the boat at Ellis Island, if your name takes more than 2 guesses, your new name is now Smith.
Kreshnamiliath Sethilathmatharnian – we’re talking to you!
Really? No….Really? Perhaps I’m some sort of super-human, or maybe I’ve spent so much time around computers that I’m all uber smart and shit – but if you tell me someone’s birthday, I can tell you how old they are on April 1, 2010 – without you having to tell me. I shudder to think how many wind turbines could have been purchased for the money spent on the extra ink for this box.
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O.K., this one isn’t just me being pithy – this is a bona fide news story. It is the year 2010…and our Government used the word “Negro”? Seriously? Why didn’t they just drop back another couple of years and actually use the word Colored or Nigger?
Whatever our own personal reactions are to the inclusion of Negro – its inclusion at all begs the question – what’s the difference? Why is it necessary to qualify the single race with multiple descriptions? Is there a difference between a Black and a Negro? (I mean…other than how offended they are by the unnecessary distinction.)
With good reason, any number of civil rights related organizations are absolutely fuming over the inclusion of this word in something as important as the Census.
Equally interesting is that American Indian was afforded the word “American”, but Mexican Americans (previous question), African Americans were not – they just got “Am.”, nor did Asians – who just got “Other Asian”. I guess in fairness, an American Indian isn’t the same thing as an Indian American. Yes…I can see where that would have been confusing. However given our Government’s tendency toward the offensive, I suppose they could have clarified that with a footnote about dots and feathers.
Another minor note of interest, Hispanics got their own question this year (Question 8) asking for further clarification of what type of Hispanic one was, and then on Question 9 – Asians were similarly asked to define exactly what kind of Asian they are. I suppose an alternative method would have been to just ask the Asians if they were a liquor store owner, dry cleaner, nail salon worker or hairdresser and we could have figured it out from there.
Important note to the Asians – we’re fond of you…sure…but lawn maintenance is still Jose’s territory. Nip is not in fact the new Beaner. Don’t get crazy.
Again…how much money was spent on extra ink to ask for information they already told us not to include?
The estimated cost to the US Taxpayer for the 2010 Census is an absolutely staggering $14.5 BILLION dollars. Yes, that’s Billion with a B. That works out to $46.93 per person. The previous Census cost $4.5B, or about $15.99 per person. Interestingly, the cost per person for the Census has gone up about $5/person every 10 years since 1970, but from 2000 to 2010, it jumped from $16 to almost $50 per person, while the rate of population growth went down and the technological abilities to “count people” through methods other than the current archaic means went up.
What the fuck??
I find it also interesting that all of the questions asked in the 2010 Census – a vital form of Citizen-to-Government communication that occurs only once every ten years – are actually questions I answer every year on a completely different Government document….called the 1040 form. I have news Washington, the people that aren’t filing their taxes, are probably the same people that aren’t going to return your Census form.
It is absolutely astounding to me that in 2010, the hemorrhage of money that spews from my Government at a time when we can least afford it, and the utter refusal to use modern technology to keep the costs under control. I can and have filed my Income Taxes online every year since the last Census – yet I still cannot perform the Census online. Why?
Why is it that I can file my taxes online – which require much more information, much more security, and much more accuracy with regard to the data transmitted – but I can’t check a box and say, “Yes…here we are. Six please.”?
Why is it that none of the information already in the Government’s hands from my annual taxes, social security, etc., etc., etc. can be utilized in some way for the Census?
Just over 5% of the money that the Census will help to decide how best to distribute, will be spent simply performing the Census – and in a way that is so manual, so obtrusive to the average American in this point-and-click society, a staggeringly large portion of the population isn’t even going to bother – thereby making the results inaccurate before it even begins.
I want my $14.5B back.
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I love it!