JohnnyGeek

Pop Quiz: What is the only thing more frustrating than having to deal with a Red Ring issue on your Xbox 360 console?

Give up?

FUCKING DEALING WITH IT TWICE!!!

Historically, I’ve never been much of a gamer by today’s standards. Sure, I played video games – but it was never much of a regular thing.

My first exposure to video games was with Pong in the 1970′s (the console for which, still works, and is still in my step-father’s garage, most likely in the original packaging with the receipt taped to the top of the box – but that’s a whole other blog post…) and Pong, in its day – was awesome. And, it just worked.

I remember when I was about 10, my grandmother bought my sister and I an Atari game console for Christmas. We quickly became masters of Pitfall and Indiana Jones. Again – it just worked. Eventually it just fell out of fashion with me I suppose.

Many years went by, and I found myself again the owner of a game system – the original Nintendo system. My friends and I would stay up for days on end playing Mario (that fucking boat at the end of the last level – give me a break), although our favorite was this game I can’t remember the name of – Dungeon something – and I recall we actually used the backs of posters and magic markers to literally map out the entire game. Again, it typically worked – worst case, you’d have to take a cartridge out and blow on it maybe – although it certainly was frustrating if it locked up after having spent 22 hours playing. There was many a dent in the drywall in that living room.

And again, it just fell out of fashion with me. I had essentially no interest in gaming for many years. My oldest son on the other hand – is a gaming freak. He could likely review games for a living, as he knows them all – inside and out. In the last 10 years or so, I had little interest in any of them, until he introduced me to Call of Duty.

I started off with Call of Duty 2 – and quickly became hooked. There was no problem during my day that killing some Nazis wouldn’t solve. Then Call of Duty 3 came out, and although I really wasn’t nearly as thrilled with it as everyone else was – I still played it. To now, I had never played online though.

When Call of Duty 4, Modern Warfare came out – I was shamed (by my son) into playing online, and it was like a whole new gaming experience. I really can’t remember the last time I played a game without playing it online against other opponents and team members.

Then I got the Red Ring.

Heartache. Sorrow. Longing. Those three weeks seemed to just creep by – inch by inch. I was assured however by Xbox Support that once I received my console back, I would be good to go and it wouldn’t happen again. I finally received my console back, and back to COD4 online I went.

Enter Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2. I am silent, I am a shadow – I am whispering death. I don’t know what it is – I just absolutely love this game…

…WHEN THE GOD DAMN CONSOLE WORKS!!!!!

Microsoft, other than on a pile of shredded money – how do you assholes sleep at night? How can you sell a product that is so ridiculously fraught with repeated hardware issues that even the repair requires a repair? You taking lessons from Toyota? Microsoft spends 16.9 Billion dollars with a B, just on R&D every year. Why don’t you jaggoffs spend a couple of dollars researching why your Xbox 360 console is such a flaming piece of shit?

When you call Xbox technical support, the very first thing you hear on the automated greeting is, “If your console has 3 flashing red lights – you need a repair. Hang up and fill out the form online.” There is even a Wikipedia page about the issue.

My family owns two Xbox 360′s – mine, and my son’s. This will be the 2nd repair on mine, and I believe my son’s just started the red ring the other day for the third time.

What.The.Fuck.

I think in the next version of Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 3 – the bad guys should be the Microsoft Engineering Douchebags that designed this royal piece of garbage.

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